Secret Addictions
by Melissa Brooks
Summary: AU...Marty hides her addiction to Alcohol from her new husband. Will Todd discover the truth about what Marty is hiding before it's too late.
1. Chapter 1

Secret Addiction

AN: This story is AU. Todd and Marty have a little three year old girl together. The rape never happened. It is written from Marty's point of view.

It was my Wedding Day and Nora was helping me get ready. She finished applying my makeup and pinning up my hair. "Are you ready to get dressed?" Nora asked.

"Can I just have a moment to myself?" I asked.

"Of course, are you feeling a little nervous?" Nora asked.

"Yeah, something like that."

"You have nothing to be worried about. Todd loves you and this wedding will be perfect," Nora stated as she gave me a hug and left me alone.

I waited a minute or two, until I was certain that I was completely alone and then I pulled the Vodka bottle out of my purse. I took a long swig of the refreshing beverage and then I poured the remainder of the bottle into an empty water bottle that I carried around. My water bottle was the perfect disguise to hide the amount of alcohol I was drinking. I shouldn't have been drinking at all because of my Lupus but I couldn't cut it out of my life. I needed it too had always been my alcohol of choice, because it was so easy to hide. It was clear just like water and more importantly, it had no distinguishing smell to it. I hid the empty Vodka bottle in my purse and headed out into the hallway.

"Okay Nora, I think I'm ready to get dressed now," I stated as I took another sip from my "water" bottle.

"Do you feel better?" Nora asked as she followed me into the room.

"I feel a lot better now," I stated as I held onto my bottle. I could do anything with my liquid courage running through my system.

Nora helped me to get dressed and it wasn't long before I was ready to walk down the aisle.

The music started playing and I saw Todd waiting for me down the aisle, but the aisle itself seemed so long and daunting. The room was spinning and I was afraid that if I walked down the aisle alone it would be obvious how drunk I was. Everybody had already been seated and I couldn't get Jason's help without drawing attention to myself so I took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other, hoping that I wouldn't embarrass myself.

I could feel my feet wobbling and I knew that I was stumbling all over the place. I was so very tired and nauseous all of a sudden, but I willed myself to continue, ignoring the gasps and strange looks that I was getting from our friends and family, until I tripped over my own feet and fell on my face.

"Marty, are you okay?" Todd asked as he rushed to my side.

"I'm okay. I guess I'm just a little shaky with nerves today," I explained.

"I understand...me too, let me help you up and we'll walk the rest of the way together," Todd stated as he held onto my hand and escorted me the rest of the way.

I held onto Todd as the rest of the ceremony took place. I don't remember the words that were spoken, I briefly remembered seeing Vicki carrying our daughter Madison to bring us our rings. I think that I vowed to love Todd through sickness and health. I know that he vowed to love me the rest of our days, but I couldn't help but wonder if he would uphold his vows if he knew how sick and vulnerable I really was. I knew that we were finally married when Todd kissed me.

I was ecstatic that we were finally married and my mouth watered at the idea of all the alcohol that would be at our reception. It didn't matter that I was completely plastered, I still craved more and this time I wouldn't have to hide all my drinking...it was a celebration after all.

XOXOXO

I grabbed Todd's hand and I headed towards the bar.

"Hand me two glasses of Champagne, I want to celebrate with my new bride," Todd ordered the bartender.

I was practically salivating as I watched the bartender pour the Champagne into two glasses. I was so thirsty...I felt like a fish out of water, but soon my suffering was over. I grabbed the glass from the bartender and drank it as fast as I could.

"Whoa, pace yourself Marty. We have all night to celebrate," Todd stated as he grabbed my empty glass and handed it back to the bartender. "Will you pour another drink, I want to make a toast," Todd stated.

"The day that I met you in Rodi's was the happiest day of my life until the day that you gave birth to our daughter and now today. You're the reason for all of my happy days. I love you so much and I promise that I will strive to make you as happy as you make me," Todd stated as he handed me my glass and we clinked it.

"I love you too Todd," I whispered feeling emotional. Todd was such a great guy...the love of my life, but I didn't deserve him. If he ever found out how much I had lied to him he would hate me forever. He didn't even know that I had Lupus because I had kept it from him, just like I had kept my need for alcohol from him.

"Dance with me?" Todd asked as he grabbed my hand and we began to move. I laid my head against his chest as he guided me around the dance floor.

After we had shared our first dance, we headed to the cake. Todd delicately fed it to me as I smashed his piece in his face.

"Don't worry baby, I'll clean you up," I stated as I ran my tongue down the icing on his face and pulled him into a kiss.

"Save it for the honeymoon," somebody from the crowd bellowed.

Todd grabbed a napkin and wiped the remainder of the cake off his face. "Let's go...I want to start that honeymoon right now," Todd stated as he grabbed my hand.

I tossed my bouquet to Jessica as we exited the reception center. Todd and I headed to the limo as we waved goodbye to our friends and family.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I pulled out my water bottle and drank the vodka inside it.

"I'm taking you to my private plane which will take us to Hawiee," Todd explained.

"That sounds wonderful," I stated as I leaned my head against Todd's shoulder and closed my eyes. I was completely and utterly exhausted.

"Marty, wake up...we're at the airfield," Todd whispered as he nudged me awake with gentle kisses. My stomach was rumbling and the room was spinning...I didn't have the energy to move.

"I can't move...I'm too tired," I stuttered as I let out a huge belch.

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Todd asked as he lifted me in his arms and began to carry me towards the plane.

"Just a couple of glasses of Champagne?" I lied.

"You're such a lightweight," Todd teased as we boarded the plane.

I gasped as I saw all the work that Todd had put into making our honeymoon romantic and special. There was a bed in the center of the plane with a trail of roses leading to it.

"This is so beautiful," I stated as Todd placed me on the bed.

"You're the beautiful one," he stated as he kissed me. "I'm going to go let the pilot know that we're ready for takeoff and then I'll be back," Todd stated as he headed to the cockpit.

"Will you help me out of my dress?" I asked Todd when he returned.

"Of course," Todd stated as he unzipped my dress. I felt so nauseous as the plane began to accelerate, but I didn't want to disappoint Todd so I fought the overwhelming urge I had to vomit.

I pulled down his pants and pulled him on the bed beside me. I took his erection in my mouth, wanting to give him as much pleasure as he deserved. Todd moaned as he pushed more of his length down my throat.

I couldn't keep the threatening acid down any longer. I released Todd's penis from my mouth and tried to move away from him, but there wasn't enough time. I threw up a mixture of Vodka, Champagne and Acid covered chunks of cake all over him.

XOXOXO

"I'm so, so sorry," I stated over and over again as I ran into the bathroom and finished heaving in the toilet. I felt completely mortified and ashamed.

"Are you okay baby?" Todd asked as he slouched down by me and rubbed my back with one hand as he held my hair with his other hand.

"I'm so sorry, please don't hate me for ruining our honeymoon," I sobbed out as I wiped the lingering throw-up from the sides of my mouth. "I'm done with alcohol, remind me of this moment the next time that I want to drink," I stated.

"You didn't ruin our honeymoon...you just gave us an interesting story to tell is all. I could never hate you and I promised that I would spend the rest of my life taking care of you," Todd replied as he grabbed a wet washcloth and wiped my face down. "Are you done throwing up?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm done."

"Good, let's take a bath together and get us all cleaned up," he stated as he started filling the tub with warm water.

Todd climbed into the water and I climbed in after him. "I love you Todd," I stated as I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes.

XOXOXO

I opened up my eyes and squinted them against the harsh sun that was filtering in our room. I realized then that we were no longer on the plane, but in some kind of beach house on the beach. I could hear the soothing waves crashing against the shore and I wanted to drift back to sleep, but I had to make myself get up. Todd had been completely understanding and amazing when I threw up all over him. He took such great care of me and I wanted to spend the day showing him how much I loved him but I had a splitting headache that made it impossible for me to move. God...I needed a drink.

"Good morning beautiful," Todd whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck.

"Good morning," I stated as I kissed him.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling a lot better," I lied as I struggled to pull myself to a sitting position. "Hey Todd, did you grab my water bottle from the plane?" I asked.

"Yeah, do you want me to go get it?"

"Yes, please."

Todd left the room and when he returned he had my water bottle in his hands.

"Thank you," I stated as I brought the bottle up to my lips and drank the refreshing Vodka. I knew that I had sworn off alcohol yesterday, but I needed it to get moving this morning. I knew that this hangover that I was nursing would soon dissapear with the Vodka's help, besides today was a new day and I would make sure that I limited my drinking so that I was certain not to get so sick again.

"What do you want to do today?" Todd asked me.

"I was thinking that we could spend the day at the beach playing in the ocean, but right now, I want to spend the morning making passionate love to my husband," I stated.

"It sounds like your husband's a very lucky man," Todd responded.

"The luckiest," I agreed as I pulled Todd into a kiss.

I ripped his shirt off his body and stroked his abs as I reached for the belt. Todd helped me remove his pants and then lowered us back down on the bed. "I need you so much," I pleaded with him as I turned him on his back and climbed on top of him, inserting his penis into my waiting hole. I moved my hips back and forth, over and over again as we continued to caress and kiss each other until we exploded inside of one another.

XOXOXO

"Let's do body shots with these," I stated as I grabbed a handful of the mini Alcohol bottles from the fridge.

"Okay baby," Todd stated as he grabbed the mini bottle of Tequila and drizzled it from my breasts to my vagina. He ran his tongue and sucked the alcohol off of my breast and then he moved down and pushed his tongue inside of me, flicking my clit until I came in his mouth.

"Now it's my turn to pleasure you and myself," I stated as I dumped the remaining bottles of alcohol over him. I ran my tongue up and down him sucking every last drop of alcohol that I could find.

I pulled his erection into my mouth and sucked and sucked as he shouted my name with enthusiasm as he hit his climax and released himself into my mouth.

Todd and I continued to make love over and over again all throughout the afternoon and through most of the night. I couldn't keep my hands off of him...I was just as addicted to him as I was the alcohol.

"Let's go watch the sunset," I stated as I grabbed Todd's hand and headed out to the balcony. "It's so beautiful out here," I observed as the sun finished setting over the water.

"You're the beautiful one," Todd stated as he wrapped his arms around me and began to nibble on my neck. "Get dressed, I have a surprise planned for you," he stated.

I stumbled inside with Todd's help and managed to get myself dressed. The room was beginning to spin as I felt the high feeling that I loved so much.

After we were dressed Todd escorted me to the pier where a tiny row boat was waiting for us. "I thought that since I monopolized our day in the bedroom we could spend some time out on the water," Todd explained as he grabbed my hand and helped me into the row boat.

I finished the last remaining drops of Vodka that was in my water bottle as Todd grabbed the paddles and began to row as we drifted further and further from shore.

I was bored so I stood up and began to rock the boat by shifting my weight.

"Marty, sit down please...I don't want you to get hurt."

"I got a much better idea. We should have sex," I stated as I lunged at Todd.

The boat flipped backwards and I hit my head on the side of the boat as we fell in the water.

XOXOXO

I opened up my eyes and realized that I was in some kind of head hurt and then I remembered tipping the boat over and falling into the water.

"What happened?" I asked as I looked at Todd who was sitting next to me holding my hand.

"You hit your head when we fell in the water. When I pulled you out of the water, you weren't breathing and I had to give you CPR. The doctors said that you should make a full recovery, but they want you to spend the night in the hospital for observation," Todd explained.

"Thanks for saving my life, I'm sorry that I tipped the boat over."

"I know, Marty, your blood alcohol level was 0.20% when you were admitted. I know that we've both had a lot to drink lately, but that's an excessive amount. I want us to both cut drinking from our lives."

"What? I don't have some kind of drinking problem, if that's what your suggesting. We got married this weekend and I just wanted to celebrate."

"I think that we both know that it hasn't just been this weekend. I don't want to fight with you Marty, but I can't lose you either. You are my life...without you, there is nothing. Please promise me that you won't drink anymore," Todd pleaded as tears spilled out of his eyes.

"I promise...I won't drink anymore," I lied. I hated lying to him, but I knew that I couldn't walk away from the escape that drinking provided me. I would just have to be more careful when I drank so that he never found out.

XOXOXO

I was released from the hospital a couple of days later. Todd had been so caring and attentive, a little bit too attentive. It had been days since I had last had a drink and I was starting to go through withdrawals.

It took everything that I had to convince him to go back to work. As soon as Todd was gone...I searched all of my old hiding spots. I found half a quart of Vodka stashed underneath the bathroom towels. I pulled it out and drank it as quickly as I could.

I knew that I had to go shopping for a lot more to last me for a few months so I picked up Madison and we headed out for a day of shopping. I stopped by the liquor store and left Madison in the car as I went inside.

A half hour later I walked out to the car carrying bags of Vodka to last me. I quickly filled up my water bottle with the Vodka and headed to the grocery store.

After I had finished paying for our groceries, I headed home. I unpacked the car and put all of the groceries away and hid all of the bottles of Vodka in places that Todd would never look. When I finished I thought of Madison. Was she still in the car? I couldn't remember when I had last seen her. I headed back out to the SUV, but there was no sign of her.


	2. Chapter 2

I searched the whole house for any trace of Madison, although I knew that she wouldn't be there. When my search had come up empty I drove to the liquor store. I was too embarrassed to ask the employees if they had seen my little girl, so I drove slowly around the parking lot as I looked for her.

I grew frantic as I realized that she wasn't there and I couldn't remember where else I had taken her that day. My Aunt Kiki was right I was a failure of a mother and I didn't deserve that little girl or Todd.

I knew that Todd would hate me when he found out that I had lost our child, but he needed to know. I couldn't keep it from him any longer. I was about to call him when my phone rang. It was the manager of the grocery store. She told me that she had my little girl there and she had found my number on the check that I had given them. I thanked her and assured her that I was on my way.

After I picked up Madison, I drove her straight to Vicki's because I couldn't trust myself to look after her the way that I should.

"Thank you so much for watching her for me Vicki," I said as I dropped her off.

"It's no problem, but are you sure that you're okay?" She asked as she looked at me with concern.

"I'm fine, I just got called into work at the hospital," I lied.

"Goodby baby girl...remember how much I love you," I whispered as I told her goodbye. I handed Madison to Vicki, climbed into my car and drove away.

When I got home I grabbed my bottle of sleeping pills out of the cabinet. I was a terrible mother and a terrible wife and they would be better off without me. I swallowed pill after pill with the help of my Vodka bottle to wash it down until there wasn't any more pills to swallow.

I dropped the bottle of Vodka and it shattered around me as darkness overcame me and I fell to the ground.

XOXOXO

"Hey baby, I'm so glad to see you opening your eyes," Todd whispered as he leaned down to kiss me.

"Where am I?" I asked as I looked around and realized that I was in a hospital. I tried to sit up and realized that I couldn't because I was restrained to the bed.

"Don't be scared baby. They're for your own good so that you can't try and hurt yourself any more," Todd explained as he wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Madison? Where is she?" I asked as I looked around.

"She's safe. Vicki is going to watch her for a little while. Do you remember what happened?" Todd asked.

"I took a bottle of sleeping pills with Vodka."

"Yeah, thank god Vicki called me and told me that you had been acting strange when you dropped off Madison. If I hadn't have come home when I did...do you know how scared I was? You are my entire life and I can't lose you. Why? Why would you want to hurt yourself?"

"I'm a terrible wife and a terrible mother. You and Madison would be better off without me."

"How can you say that?"

"You don't know what I've done. I can't stop drinking...from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep at night. I lost Madison yesterday. I couldn't remember where I had taken her, because I was so drunk. If the grocer wouldn't have called she would have been lost to both of us forever."

"Why didn't I see that you were in trouble?"

"Because I didn't let you see. I hid it from you because I was ashamed. I hid the bottles of Vodka underneath the towels and I drank in the shower. I would fill my water bottles up with Vodka. I've wanted to stop so many times, but I don't know how to make it through the day without being drunk. Do you hate me now?"

"I love you so much that I can forgive you for almost anything, but I will never forgive you if you kill yourself. I could never hate you for being sick, but now that I know then I can help you. I'm going to find you the best rehab center and you're going to be fine," Todd promised as he kissed me.

XOXOXO

A few days later I was released from the hospital and Todd drove me to the rehab center.

I checked myself in and then Todd walked me to my room. "I don't like it here," I whispered.

"Just give it a chance. We just barely got here," Todd whispered as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm going to miss you and Madison so much. I don't know if I can do this," I whispered.

"You can do this baby cause I'm going to be here with you every step of the way. I have to go now, but I'll see you tonight," Todd whispered as he kissed my cheek.

"I'm sorry Mr. Manning, but that's just not possible," the nurse stated.

"Listen Victor," Todd said as he read the name tag of the nurse. "I have paid top dollar for my wife to be here and I will see her whenever I want."

"I understand your frustration, but your wife can not have any visitors as she goes through detox. As soon as she is finished with detox then you may visit her."

"How long is that supposed to take?"

"A week, but it's very important. Your wife is very sick and if you want her to ever get better then you have to trust her in our care," Victor stated.

"Fine, I'll call you tonight," Todd said as he grabbed my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sorry, but there's no phone calls the first week either," Victor explained.

"I can't even talk to her?"

"I know it's hard Mr. Manning, but these rules are in place for a reason. I'm really good at my job and I promise that your wife will receive excellent care with me."

"What do you think?" Todd asked as he turned to me.

Part of me wanted to plead with him not to leave me here. I didn't want to be separated from him and I was terrified to be on my own, but I also knew that if I didn't get better here. I would never get better.

"It's okay Todd, I can do this...it's only a week and when it's done, I'll call you," I stated as I hugged him goodbye. I wiped the tears from my eyes as he walked out of my room.

XOXOXO

The first night of detox was the worst night of my life. I felt as if my stomach was being shredded and ripped apart as I threw up. My skin felt like it was on fire, but I had never felt so cold as I heard my teeth chattering. My mouth felt parched, but the water that I drank wasn't ever enough. I knew what it needed...it needed Vodka, then all my pain would go away.

"I want to go home," I cried out.

"I'm sorry Marty, but this is your home for the next couple of months," Victor said as he placed the cold washcloth on my forehead.

"I can't do this...I need Todd," I cried as tears streamed down my face.

"You can't have Todd right now, but I'm here and I'm going to help you get through this," Victor promised as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I don't want you," I said as I pushed him away. I hate you and I hate it here. You won't let me see my husband. You won't let me go home and you won't let me..."

"What? I won't let you continue to destroy your life with Alcohol? You're right...I won't."

_"You don't know how badly it hurts...I just need one drink to take the edge off. Please Victor," I pleaded. _

_"You're wrong, I know how much it hurts. I know exactly how you feel because I'm an alcoholic as well. You can tell yourself that you'll only have one drink to take the edge off and see you through the pain, but we both know one drink is never enough," Victor stated. _

_"How did you ever survive this?"_

_"I didn't have any other choice...I didn't want my addiction to kill me when it had already killed my wife. I had to survive this because I didn't want our little girl to end up an orphan. I relied on the staff of this hospital and they got me through it and I'm going to get you through it," Victor promised me as he once again wrapped his arms around me. _

_This time I didn't push him away, but I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heart beating. He knew what I was going through. He had made it through hell and survived somehow. His heartbeat was proof of that. I closed my eyes as he began to hum and the pain began to fade as I drifted to sleep._


End file.
